Sermons

Maria: ‘My husband got me to believe in religion.’ Lucy: ‘Really?’ Maria: ‘Yeah. Until I married him I didn’t believe in Hell. A preacher notices a woman in the congregation who begins to weep as soon as he begins to preach. Thinking he has made a big catch he preaches with even greater fervor.  The […]

A story is told of a grandfather who would take a long walk with Emily his teen-age granddaughter. He took great pleasure in her company.  Suddenly she began to offer almost daily excuses as to why she could not accompany him. He was disappointed but did not express it.  Finally, his birthday arrived.  Emily presented […]

“Dad, I want to ask you a question,” said little Josh after his first day of Sunday School. “Of course,” said his Dad. “The teacher was reading the Bible, about the Children of Israel building the Temple, the Children of Israel crossing the Red Sea, the Children of Israel making the sacrifices,” said Josh. “So […]

“After a morning worship service, a mother with a restless seven-year-old boy told her Pastor how she finally got her son to sit still and be quiet. About halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, ‘If you don’t be quiet, the Pastor is going to lose his place and will have to start […]

It was Fr George’s birthday, and the parish community decided to give him a new suit. He was so touched by the gift that the following Sunday he stood before everyone and, with tears in his eyes, announced, “Today I will be preaching to you in my birthday suit.” During the Civil War, Lincoln was often […]

Father George was opening his mail one morning. Taking a single sheet of paper from an envelope, he found written on it only one word: ‘Fool’. The following Sunday, in church, Father George announced to the assembled congregation, ‘I have known many people who have written letters to me and forgotten to sign their names.  […]

A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for her birthday. After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend of his said, “I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles.” “She did,” he replied. “But where was I going to find a fake Jeep?” William Miller, in The Joy of Feeling Good, […]

After the birth of his baby brother, Johnny was thoroughly annoyed at all of his crying and screaming. “Where did we get him anyway?” he asked his mother. “He came from heaven!” his mother replied. “Well I can see why they threw him out!” the Johnny replied. “Where is God?” is the question that people […]

By the time Bobby arrived, the football game had already started. “Why are you so late?” asked his friend.  “I couldn’t decide between going to church and going to the football game. So I tossed a coin,” said Bobby.  “But that shouldn’t have taken too long.” said the friend.  “Well, I had to toss it […]